Befriending Your Shadow

Author: Ed Hall

“Why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”  Matthew 7: 3

Scott Jeffrey describes the shadow as “the dark side of our personality because it consists chiefly of negative human emotions and impulses like rage, envy, greed, selfishness, desire and the striving for power. All we deny in ourselves – whatever we perceive as inferior, evil, or unacceptable – become part of the shadow.”

I have found that addressing my own “shadow” has become an ongoing challenge. It is easier for me to be empathetic, kind and compassionate, but harder to be patient, non-judgmental and slow to anger; I admit, I fall short. I interpret the Gospel words, quoted above, as requiring us to recognize and accept our own shadows. Richard Rohr has said, “One of the best ways to identify your shadow is to pay attention to your emotional reactions toward other people.”

In thinking about Jesus’s teaching and the shadow concept, I am aware that remaining unconscious of one’s shadow can hurt relationships.  How easy it is to project on to another that which is a part of our own shadow – ugh! There is a need to have your own shadow deliberately under conscious control.

Bishop Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama, together, suggest that perspective, acceptance and forgiveness are keys to finding joy and a meaningful life. Such warrants accepting the teachings of Jesus, identifying the makeup of our own shadow and being accountable for our interpersonal relations – a tall order, to be sure. 

“How can you say to your brother, “Let me take the speck out of your eye,” when there is a plank in your own eye. You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7: 4-5

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