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Author: Joanne O’Keefe
“Accept one another then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” Romans 15:7
Recently, I watched a human interest story on CBS Mornings done by journalist David Begnaud. It featured a 77-year-old woman named Gayle from Oceanside, California, who had made it her mission in life to spread kindness to people she felt were unappreciated.
Gayle’s outward appearance was unconventional and easily recognizable in her town. Her posture was stooped and her gray hair unkempt. She usually wore oversized, tie-dyed Grateful Dead T-shirts, rolled-up jeans, and her signature hat. Her frequently worn hat was a winter type plush, lime green with long tail-like ears that almost reached her waist on each side. She had other hats that were animal-themed in the same style.
Gayle stated that this need to bring kindness to others began when she was about 5 or 6 years old. At that time, she enlisted the help of her grandfather, who held the same philosophy. Gayle’s acts of kindness were usually in the form of baked goods that she bought at the store.
In her working life, Gayle was a very accomplished woman. She had been a Chief Radio Engineer in the 70’s. In the 80’s she developed an interface chip for the budding computer industry. She developed 50 patents in technology and code during the Vietnam war.
Gayle was also a mother to one daughter named Nissa, now aged 37. Nissa described her mother as “hard to get close to” and as being “driven by aggressive kindness.” Gayle’s dress and personality were very difficult for Nissa to accept, so much so that she began therapy to try to work through her feelings.
During her interview with Mr. Begnaud, Nissa said something I found so profound. She told him that she now understood that when we are children each of us wants to be accepted and loved for just who we are by our parents and as we grow up, we need to accept our parents for who they are as well. Once Nissa began to accept her mother for just who she is they became closer. Nissa’s feelings about her mother’s need to distribute baked goods and to spread kindness to those she felt needed it, changed. Nissa even began driving Gayle to the post office, bank, or fire and police stations to hand out muffins or cookies to hard-working employees.
The need for acceptance and love is a universal need in each of us. I saw Gayle and Nissa’s story as a living example of acceptance being the first step toward loving each other. Jesus taught us to love one another as we love ourselves. Acceptance of our own authentic self and the self in all others is the foundation upon which love is built.