Author: Stephanie Angell
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to
uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a
time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to
dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to
embrace and a time to let go,
a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to
throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to
speak,
a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for
peace. Ecclesiasts 3:1-8
The seasons are changing and each one brings on different feelings and life lessons. Spring with new growth and storms that might come in telling me there is a different way. Summer when I learned to laugh and play and watch things grow. In Fall watching the leaves change colors and Mother Nature begins to prepare herself to rest and lastly Winter with the first big snow making everything seem so quiet as life slows down.
The passages in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 are so familiar to all of us; for me, not just literally but figuratively. There are seven stages, each with two pairs of opposites involved in the process of expressing our spiritual truth. Reading this passage has helped me learn about my own true soul and heart.
Birth and death, planting and reaping, with the knowledge that all things end sometime. I learned this the first time when our family dog died and I wondered why. Later, when I grew gardens, I came to understand the correlation to my inner work.
I learned about killing, healing, breaking down and building up when I was in 7th grade and my life changed drastically or “died.” I had to find a different life without my Dad and then in high school my Mom remarried and moved but I stayed behind. To me, that was just life and I adjusted and was happy.
Weeping and laughing, mourning, and dancing are all necessary actions that teach us to appreciate the deep sense of loss and the depth you can feel in joy and gratitude. Tears are necessary when your heart shatters and then there is the joy of laughter. And the best advice I ever got from a doctor was to dance every day.
Throwing away, gathering, embracing, and letting go became clear in my 30’s when I remembered childhood abuse. Children who are victimized come to believe that they are broken and unlovable. It was a difficult but fascinating process and as weird as it may sound, I’m grateful for the experience. Each time a heart shatters and you put it back together the cracks just let in more love and there is more to pour out. I find strength in Psalm 46:5, “God is within her, she will not fail; God will help her at the break of day.”
We seek and lose, keep and throw away. Not only does the throwing away apply to my closet but also to my head. I dig down deep for the wrong messages, throw them out, and then reprogram the idea that I am loveable and whole. It’s a lifelong process that comes up from time to time; it’s like peeling the onion and getting to the middle.
Tearing and sewing, silence and speaking. I understand the tearing and sewing because I sew a lot and I know that for the rest of my life I will be looking at behaviors that don’t fit with who I want to be or who God created me to be. I work on exchanging those behaviors for ones that I know are from God. Knowing when to be silent and when to speak is the hardest for me; sometimes, I talk too much and really need to listen more!
To love and to hate, war and peace. I find I judge this one more than the others, believing one is wrong and the other right. But they both have to exist to understand the other. What I do know is when someone upsets me and I get sore, that’s my problem and the “wrong” response.
The answer to all of this comes in Ecclesiastes 3:12 where it says “I know there is nothing better for people then to be happy and to do good while they live.” I am learning what is important: to stay in the NOW, which is hard when my feet and my head are seldom in the same place!
“Terrible or not, difficult or not, the only thing that is beautiful, noble, religious and mystical is to be happy” Arnaud Desjardins in Offerings Buddhist Wisdom for Every Day